Billie Eilish Says She Never Felt Desirable as a Woman: ‘I’ve Never Felt Feminine’

Billie Eilish is getting candid about her womanhood! 

In a new interview for Variety’s Power of Women issue, the 21-year-old artist shares her biggest insecurities. While discussing the lens that has been on her body and image since she was a teenager, the “Bad Guy” singer reveals why she often hid behind baggy clothes.

“I wasn’t trying to have people not sexualize me,” she tells Variety. “But I didn’t want people to have access to my body, even visually. I wasn’t strong enough and secure enough to show it. If I had shown it at that time, I would have been completely devastated if people had said anything.”

Eilish pushes back on the narrative that surrounded her body when she decided to wear form-fitting clothes.

“I have big boobs,” she says. “I’ve had big boobs since I was nine years old, and that’s just the way I am. That’s how I look. You wear something that’s at all revealing, and everyone’s like, ‘Oh, but you didn’t want people to sexualize you?’ “You can suck my a**! I’m literally a being that is sexual sometimes. F**k you!”

With regard to her I don’t care persona, Eilish admits it was rooted in her vision of herself as a woman. 

“Maybe my not really caring about being sexualized is because I’ve never felt desired or desirable,” the GRAMMY-winning singer adds. “I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you. I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine. I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl. I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl.”

And when it comes to her relationship with women, the “When the Party’s Over” singer shares that at one point, she wasn’t a girl’s girl, as she didn’t have a connection with women.

“I’ve never really felt like I could relate to girls very well,” she says. “I love them so much. I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real.”

But Eilish says that, today, there are women in her life that she has a bond and connection with.

“I have deep connections with women in my life, the friends in my life, the family in my life,” she tells the outlet. “I’m physically attracted to them. But I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence.”

After snagging another GRAMMY nomination for her single, “What Was I Made For” from the Barbie soundtrack, Eilish shares that she has a newfound view of happiness. 

“My life is feeling good,” she says. “I feel like I’m becoming a person I really love and doing things I feel really proud of. In many ways in my life, I feel like I’m just now waking up.”

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