Long before Matthew Perry’s untimely death on Saturday, his longtime friend and former co-star Lisa Kudrow was tapped to pen the forward to his candid and deeply personal memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing.
In Kudrow’s forward for the raw and revealing tome — which came out in November 2022 — she spoke about how she was often asked, “How’s Matthew Perry doing?” And how she felt about the question.
“Over the many years since I was first asked, it’s been, at different times, the most asked question for me. I understand why so many people asked it: they love Matthew and they want him to be OK,” she wrote. “Me too.”
However, Kudrow explained that she “always bristled at that question from the press,” because she felt it wasn’t her place to share his story, explaining, “I couldn’t say what I wanted to say: ‘It’s his story to tell and I’m not authorized to tell it really, am I?!'”
She also explained that, generally speaking, she didn’t really know the answer to the question either.
“As he’ll tell you in this book, he was keeping it a secret,” Kudrow wrote. “And it took some time for him to feel comfortable enough to tell us some of what he was going through.”
Kudrow acknowledged that she and Perry’s other co-stars and comrades knew that he was struggling with his demons, but didn’t know how to address it, or if it was even their place.
“Over those years I didn’t really try to intervene or confront him, because the little I knew about addiction was that his sobriety was out of my hands,” she shared. “And yet, I would have periods of wondering if I was wrong for not doing more, doing something. But I did come to understand that this disease relentlessly fed itself and was determined to keep going.”
The actress explained that, after Friends came to an end in 2004, she didn’t see or talk to Perry nearly as frequently, and as his addiction problems worsened, she didn’t realize the extent of his struggle. In fact, when reading his memoir, it was “the first time I’m hearing what living with and surviving his addiction really was.”
“He has survived impossible odds,” Kudrow wrote of Perry’s health battle, “but I had no idea how many times he almost didn’t make it.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Matty. Good for you. I love you,” she concluded the heartfelt forward — which proves to be more emotionally potent a year later than it ever was when the memoir hit shelves.
In his memoir, Perry revealed that he nearly died five years earlier, when he spent two weeks in a coma and five months in the hospital after his colon burst when he was 49 years old.
Perry recalled suffering a gastrointestinal perforation when his colon burst from opioid overuse. the actor fought for his life and wound up having to use a colostomy bag for nine months. Perry revealed in the book that he had 14 surgeries on his stomach, and that the scars served as “reminders to stay sober.”
Speaking with People in a cover story last October, Perry explained why he had written his candid memoir and the challenges of opening up about his near-death experience.
“I wanted to share when I was safe from going into the dark side of everything again,” Perry told the publication. “I had to wait until I was pretty safely sober — and away from the active disease of alcoholism and addiction — to write it all down. And the main thing was, I was pretty certain that it would help people.”
“The doctors told my family that I had a two percent chance to live,” he told People. “I was put on a thing called an ECMO machine, which does all the breathing for your heart and your lungs. And that’s called a Hail Mary. No one survives that.”
“There were five people put on an ECMO machine that night and the other four died and I survived,” he added. “So the big question is why? Why was I the one? There has to be some kind of reason.”
Perry also revealed that his addiction to alcohol was just beginning when he was cast on the hit NBC sitcom at age 24. At one point during the series’ 10-season run, he was taking 55 Vicodin a day and — at 6 feet tall — weighed only 128 pounds. “I didn’t know how to stop,” he admitted.
On Tuesday, Perry’s Friends co-stars — including Kudrow, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer — paid tribute to the actor in a joint statement mourning Perry’s death and thanking him for his years of hard work and friendship.
“We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family,” their statement reads. “There is so much to say, but right now we’re going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss.”
“In time we will say more, as and when we are able,” the statement continues. “For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty’s family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world.”
Perry was found dead in a hot tub at a house in Los Angeles, California, on Saturday, Oct. 28. He was 54.
Captain Scot Williams of the LAPD Robbery-Homicide Division told ET on Sunday, “The Robbery-Homicide Division is handling the death investigation involving Matthew Perry and foul play is not suspected at this time.”
Capt. Williams added, “I will not comment on what was or was not recovered at the scene, as the investigation is ongoing.”
However, he stated that the “LA County Medical Examiner has conducted the autopsy, but Mr. Perry’s cause of death determination has been deferred, pending the toxicology results.”
Perry is survived by his mother, Suzanne Marie Morrison, and his father, John Bennett Perry.
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